Literary Secretary

Have again attempted to outrage public decency, and earn a little cash, with a story in new issue of Skin Two fetish magazine (#59). As you can see, they've used a photo of my new 'literary secretary' on the cover. She's pictured here just after taking some notes for my new novel.

Hmmm. Parts of the above paragraph may not be entirely true. But I did write the story.

My local library just charged me £1 'administrative charges' for a new ticket, after I lost my readers card! I mean, really. I was outraged. Damn it, it only took them 15 seconds to make me a new one. Administrative charges. Ha.

Once the shock of handing over £1 had receded, I borrowed E M Forster's Passage to India. I've never read Forster but I heard an interesting programme about him on Radio 4. I particularly admired the fact that for the last 46 years of his life, he didn't write any books all. I can see the attraction in this. Just write a few novels early on, then settle down comfortably on the couch for the next 46 years. It sounds great.

Lonely Werewolf Girl and The Good Fairies of New York are currently part of a promotion at some branches of Barnes and Noble in the USA, meaning both books are currently piled up on tables prominently displayed inside the shops. Which I would like to see, actually, as it's not often that I've been well-promoted. I could ask the publisher Soft Skull to send me a picture.

Fairies in Romania

The Good Fairies of New York was published this week in Romania, by Tritonic. Zinele Punkiste Din New York. I really like the cover. It's the first time I've been published in Romania. Once more, the publisher has used the introduction by Neil Gaiman, and this introduction has been a big help in getting the book published in various countries.

The publisher, Bugdan Hrib, and a Romanian journalist, Horia Ursu, are in Britain for the Eastercon. I met them in Crystal Palace and did a brief interview. Also, they bought me beer.

Once more being obliged to travel to Croydon - stupid agoraphobia therapy - I intended to march resolutely past the comic shop, without going in. Because I seem to have bought rather a lot of Japanese comics recently. But then I thought I might as well just take a quick look. Unfortunately, once inside, I discovered that they had a three-for-the-price-of-two offer on their manga. I was powerless to resist. Emerged some time later, weighed down with large bundle of new Japanese graphic novels. Felt some sense of shame at my weakness. Still, as everyone knows, when you hand over your credit card, you're not really spending any money.

Have secured new inflatable pillow, and plan to spend several days lying comfortably in the bath, reading manga.

Inflatable Bath Pillow

Soft Skull's edition of Lonely Werewolf Girl is now in bookstores in the USA, and available at amazon.com. This has taken me by surprise. Official publication date in America is 5th April but it's made it to the shops already. So this is cause for celebration.

* makes cup of tea *

But life is not without its problems. Having settled down in the bath for a comfy soak, and rested my head on my inflatable bath pillow, I found my head bumping uncomfortably. My pillow had deflated. I blew it up several times, to no avail. My bath pillow has sprung a leak. This is very disappointing. I loved that inflatable pillow. It may have been my most useful possession. It's no use trying to relax in the bath without some sort of support for your head. Will have to try and replace it tomorrow.

I think I bought that pillow from the same supermarket I buy rhubarb crumble. Which I still eat regularly though I've been attempting to broaden my diet a little recently. Urgh. I get bored trying to think of anything new I might want to eat.

A new Buffy comic arrives through the letterbox. Hooray! I can read it in the bath. But I don't have my pillow. Damn.

Werewolf Costume

A box of books arrives from Italy, copies of Ragazze Lupo, Fazi's translation of Lonely Werewolf Girl. It's a fine-looking book. And hefty too; it's a hardback, which I hadn't realised. I wonder if I could do anything useful with these books? If you'd like a free Italian copy and can give me some convincing reason to send you one - like for instance you have many friends and family in Italy and you promise you'll harass them all into buying it - then let me know.

Meanwhile I've been doing more email interviews for Italian magazines. This is good but it has led to world-record levels of sleeping on the couch afterwards, feeling that answering a few questions is probably enough work for the day.

The London Book Fair takes place at the start of April. My literary agents will be there, trying to make some more sales for me with foreign publishers. My agent did suggest that it would be good publicity for Lonely Werewolf Girl if I were to dress up in a werewolf costume and go around the book fair biting people. It's a reasonable suggestion. If I were to put on a suitable costume and deliver an energetic performance, maybe biting some publishers quite seriously and sending them to hospital, it would be bound to get some press coverage.

* Author bites publisher's leg *

* They never paid me enough royalties, says Millar *

It would probably do my career no harm at all. Sadly, I'm not really up to it. I don't have that killer instinct when it comes to getting publicity. It's a shame, really.

Zap! Boom!

This week I've been limping around with a sore hip, the result of either 1) Old age creeping up on me, or 2) Heroic sexual performance with supermodels - I'll let you decide - but anyway, one place I limped around was the comic shop in Croydon.

That was a long journey by my standards, and one that I wouldn't have made, except I started at a new therapist in Croydon last week. This is again courtesy of the National Health Service, which means it's rather like receiving therapy in a welfare office. In fact, I've been in more attractive welfare offices. I'm hoping it does the agoraphobia some good anyway. I haven't made any progress with my agoraphobia for some time.

I felt obligated to buy myself stuff on the way home as a reward for my efforts. Hence the visit to the comic shop. Emerged with bundle of Japanese manga, which I'm enjoying. I was confused at first till I realised these comics had to be read backwards. It does tell you this on the cover but I didn't notice for a while. As a result of enjoying this manga I've also taken to watching anime on TV. And this has been a good way of spending time, because obviously I don't want to sit at my computer and write anything.

There was an earthquake in Britain on Tuesday night. I felt it, but here in London we were far from the epicentre and I didn't even realise the vibration was an earthquake. At first I thought it was me, having some sort of seizure, which was worrying, then I thought it must be some giant vehicle going past outside, or maybe some neighbour's boiler about to explode. The vibrating didn't last for long. By natural disaster standards, I suppose this was a small event, though it was worse in other places. Still, it's the first earthquake I've ever felt.