Supermarket Clothes

Here I am modelling my fashionable 'all supermarket' collection, comprising clothes bought entirely from Sainsbury's. I look rather like the builders who congregate at the local pub at lunchtime, standing outside for a cigarette. Also in picture - plastic flowers, mandolin, Buffy comics, Slade CD, fairy book, and corner of table at which I write. And a backgammon set, which I haven't played for years, and am really bad at. I don't even like the game. I should throw it out.

And on the subject of supermarkets I was surprised to see a blog in the Guardian where a woman was complaining angrily about middle-aged men ogling her 18 year old daughter as they walked round the shop. She seemed quite irate about the whole thing.

Well really. I mean to say. If you can't ogle someone's 18 year old daughter in the supermarket, what's left? That's about 80% of my sex life, dammit. Hey, I didn't like your daughter that much anyway.

I'd better just spend my time lying on the couch instead. Yesterday I spent most of the day watching the Paramount channel. It usually shows reruns of old American sit-coms. I watched various shows quiet contentedly but became uncomfortable with their repeats of Frasier. I used to like that programme, but went off it when they introduced a bunch of English characters - Daphne's family - who were so objectionable as to be barely human. Quite what these characters were meant to be was baffling. Had the writers actually ever met any English people? They appeared to be escapees from some mental asylum, unable to either walk or talk like normal human beings. It really put me off the programme.

Right, I'm going to read my new Buffy comic and then I'm going to write something.

Quantum Pudding Transfer

This is the cover for Soft Skull's new edition of Suzy, Led Zeppelin and Me. I was quite startled when I saw it, and I like it a lot. It should grab people's attention. It comes out in September.

Hmm. Am suddenly feeling old. You can't claim to be that young if you write a book about going to see Led Zeppelin in 1972. Still, as I point out in the book, I was at school at the time. May have to lie more about this in future, and pretend to have been younger than I was.

* Millar saw Led Zeppelin when he was 6 years old *

I realise my email is again piling up. I don't get round to answering something and then weeks and months pass and I still haven't answered it and I feel guilty. So if I never emailed you back, I'm sorry. I always like people emailing me, and always intend to reply, but sometimes I'm just too inefficient to do it.

Look at this fabulous pie on Germaine's blog. I want this pie. I need someone to invent a quantum pudding transfer system. Perhaps they are working on it at the new CERN particle accelerator right now.

European Championship

Am lying on the couch watching football on TV. There's a lot of it on. The European Championship is here. Sadly, neither England nor Scotland qualified. Most people here, if they're supporting any country at all, probably favour Holland or Spain for their exciting football. Personally I admire the relentless determination of the Germans. And being a dour Scot, I like their rather dour nature. But enough of racially stereotyping my fellow Europeans. I'm enjoying the football anyway.

Sainsbury changed the packaging on it's rhubarb crumble! I'm very unhappy about this. I dislike all change. These people shouldn't just go around changing the packaging on people's favourite food. Don't they know the ruinous effect it can have on the obsessive compulsives among us? Examined it for a long time, wondering if it was safe to buy. It doesn't seem right. Bought it eventually, but am very suspicious of the whole thing.

The new edition of Suzy, Led Zeppelin and Me has made it onto amazon.com, though it's not released till September. It will be good having multiple books in print again, having gone more or less completely out of print a few years ago.

Had a minor alarm when I noticed, in my web stats, an unnatural amount of visits to my website by one person. Took me a while to realise that this person was in fact me. I had failed to set the blocking cookie correctly. Alarm over. I'm relieved not to be being stalked again anyway. There have been incidents in the past. You'd be surprised. But these days I am guarded round the clock by an elite team of glamorous female secret agents, so I'm not really worried.

Missing Stickers

My new Naruto manga is wrapped in plastic, which is unusual. Inside there are free stickers. Aha. The plastic wrapping was to prevent unscrupulous people from stealing the stickers in the shop. But what's this? A list of the four editions of Naruto that include free stickers.

I read the list. There should have been free stickers in issue 18. I bought issue 18 from this shop. There weren't any stickers in my copy. I inquire at the counter. They don't know anything about it. I let the matter go. After all, I'm too old and mature to be worrying about free stickers.

But really, I'm not pleased. I want my free stickers. Arrive home quite dissatisfied. You can't just sell comics minus the free stickers. It's not right. I wonder if I could write to the publisher and ask for them?

'Dear Sirs, the children at my local orphanage were very disappointed not to receive their free stickers from Naruto volume 18...'

Despite sticker disappointment, I was quite pleased about successful excursion, having managed to travel a short distance on a bus and not feel too bad about it. Agoraphobia generally still a big problem. May be slightly improving. Find email from my agent about upcoming French book-deal for The Good Fairies of New York. Good, I've never made that much progress in France before.

Get on internet to investigate whole 'free stickers' scandal. Discover that other people did get them. Hmm. My mouse suddenly stops working. How annoying. Try shaking it. No effect. Try poking it, but there's nothing really to poke on an optical mouse. No moving parts. Poke it anyway. No effect. Shake it around. Tap it on the desk. Still not working. Shake it again. Hit it firmly. No improvement. Beat it angrily against the wall. Mouse disintegrates. Use track-pad on laptop to order new mouse from computer store.

I want these Naruto stickers. I bought the comic. I should have them. It's lucky I'm not the sort of person to obsess about this sort of thing.