Extreme Piggy-Back Terror

My new wi-fi has certainly changed my life. Because of it I've developed two new damaging obsessions. I'm obsessed with how fast it is, and I'm obsessed about anyone piggy-backing on my connection. Previously I never had to worry about these things. Now I'm checking it all the time. So it's a big step forward.

The speeds seems to be OK. But, to my horror, while browsing through the rather complicated logs and settings in my router, it did seem to me that there were other people using my connection. Another computer, and also an iPhone.

I thought I'd set a password, but apparently this wasn't good enough. People had already invaded my network. I was briefly terrified, and felt unable to cope with this cyber terrorism. I had a vision of some Jack Nicholson-type character smashing through my door with an axe, crying 'You'll never stop us using your wi-fi connection!'

When I calmed down, and realised this probably wasn't going to happen, I was annoyed. I mean, these people can't be far away, can they? Is someone in my block using their damned iPhone on my connection?

* Shakes fist at fellow residents *

Considered knocking on everyone's door, demanding to know who the culprits were, possibly coming to blows with suspicious parties. Eventually decided against it.

Subsequently, with much furrowing of the brow, I learned how to make my connection more secure, a complicated process involving mac address filters, Wpa2 and suchlike. So this was all very stressful. But I think it's secure now. The other computer and the iPhone are no longer appearing on my connection, or in the log

Checking the internet, I notice that all these security measures can be broken by other people if they're determined enough. Sigh. So I will no doubt be checking the whole thing obsessively for the foreseeable future. Go wireless. It's a boon to OCD sufferers. Hours of new stuff to worry about.

In-between fighting off these cyber-terrorists I noticed the sink in the bathroom was looking quite dirty. Wondered about cleaning it. I'm not a great house-cleaner. Eventually decided to make an attempt. Sprayed it with cleaner and rubbed it with a cloth. This had little effect. Was frustrated. Why didn't it work? What's the point of selling stuff that claims to clean sinks if it doesn't do it when you need it? May have to scrub harder.