Wednesday, January 28, 2009


I just bought some new sheets, a duvet, and a duvet cover (and there is nothing more fascinating than a blog about bedding) For no good reason I persuaded myself that these new items should all be anti-allergic. Because think how harmful normal bedding might be. Even though I've used it all my life with no ill effects whatsoever.

Anyway, the new sheets and duvet arrived, all hypo-allergenic. They're all fine, except I didn't realise they were going to be so dazzlingly white. My new hypo-allergenic bedding is very white indeed. It's like being in some sort of science project. I feel like I'm going to bed in a sleep-clinic. Or maybe some sort of space-capsule. It's a little disconcerting. But at least there is no chance of a serious night time allergic attack.

More good news arrives with the reports of the health benefits of masturbation. Protects you against prostate cancer. It's a scientific fact. Hmm. Excuse me a moment.






Ok, where was I? I know. My publisher sent me a picture of my books on sale in a bookstore in Hawaii. Is Hawaii where you get these flower things you hang round your neck? I can't remember what they're called. I'd like one anyway.

Here's the picture. You can tell it's Hawaii from the beaches, palm trees, exotic flowers and so on.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I suffered a minor spell of ill-health recently. While lying around, being tended by my coterie of glamorous literary secretaries, it struck me that I hadn't been very productive recently. I should be writing more. I also noticed how far behind I was with my email, and thought I should do something about that too. Then it struck me that I'd never played Tetris, which seemed strange, as it was one of the most popular video games ever. So there was only one thing to do. Find an online version and play relentlessly. Immediately become hopelessly addicted and give up all other pursuits. Decide never to do anything again except play Tetris. Hmm. This may go on for some time.

* Some time later *

Still struggling with Tetris addiction. Fingers now sore from continual aggressive keyboard action. Help arrives in the form of a new Buffy comic, which does give me a break. The story is a flashback to Buffy's days at school, when Giles was still the school librarian, and I like that. Perhaps Buffy can help to break the Tetris addiction.

Books I wish had survived from the ancient world - Gaius Plinius Secundus (Pliny the Elder) wrote an instruction manual on how to throw a javelin from horseback. He had first-hand experience of this, from various Roman wars in Germany. Sadly, the book no longer survives. But think how interesting it would be. Who can really talk authoritively about throwing a javelin from horseback these days? Probably no one.