Friday, May 15, 2009

Plumbing Terror

Two nights ago, at 10 in the evening, I turned on the hot tap in the kitchen. Then it got stuck. It wouldn't go off. Nothing I could do would make the tap turn off.

This was a problem. The hot tap comes from the gas boiler, so the gas was going as well, heating up the water. Which, I could see immediately, would swiftly lead to overheating - gas explosion - entire block of flats destroyed - Millar lost in tragic household accident - Buffy videos scattered over wide area - couldn't find enough of his body to give him a proper burial - identified by dental records - sequel to Lonely Werewolf Girl never completed - weeping crowds at memorial service - and all in all, this was quite worrying.

I couldn't find the stopcock to turn off the water. It did strike me, after a while, to turn the gas off at the mains. Though even that was worrying, and again made me fear for gas explosions. Everything to do with the gas heating boiler makes me think of gas explosions. (In a previous flat, the pilot light used to go off. Pressing the button to light it again, I was always nervous, and expected the worst.)

After the gas was off I called an emergency plumber. I was quite surprised at myself for being organised enough to do this. And, afterwards, rather perturbed at the huge expense. These people don't come cheap. Still, he did arrive, around midnight, and managed to turn the tap off.

All in all, this was an unhappy experience. Have abandoned all thoughts of writing, and will lie on the couch reading comics.

I have new Buffy comics. But I'm not quite satisfied with these. I also have a big bundle of manga, and much of this manga is full of great art, wit, invention, humour and so on. But the Buffy comics… well, they're just comics really. They don't really match up to how great the TV series was, and they're not nearly as entertaining as some of my manga.

Dollhouse, Joss Whedon's latest TV show, is starting in Britain next Tuesday. It stars Eliza Dushku, who was Faith in Buffy. I was a big fan of Faith, so I'm looking forward to watching this.


  1. I am very glad to learn that you have survived the Plumbing Ordeal. I have every sympathy with reagrd to to gas boilers. Mine makes a sort of "Whoooomph" noise when the heating or hot water comes on, which I can't help feeling is exactly the kind of noise a gas boiler would make just as it started to explode. It hasn't, yet, but it is probably only a matter of time. And I wouldn't even have the weeping crowds at my funeral, not being a famous author.

    On a happier note, my copy of 'Les Petites fees' has arrived. I have found two words already that I don't know, and I'm not even out of the introduction yet.

  2. I hate these 'Whoooomph' noises! It's exactly the sort of thing that makes me fear an imminent explosion.

  3. Diane6:55 pm

    I thought of this post on Friday evening, as I heard a horrible gurgling noise and discovered that our sewer line was backing up into our basement.

    I couldn't help but think, "At least with a gas explosion, my troubles would be over."

  4. Anonymous2:44 am

    so I have a little blurb about dollhouse to leave. I didn't realize it came to Britain so much later. I loved the show. It was definitely a fledgling season but Joss Whedon can do no wrong in my eyes regardless. The themes and ideas in the show were top notch material. I love how Joss has the ability to take B actors and create A material. I think it may have gotten cancelled in the US, Fox ruined Firefly for us too. I guess reality shows like Wifeswap and Survivor 20 are much more entertaining to others.

    phew. That was a rant. Anyways, I'll be in London for June and I think you should have a book signing of sorts so I can get my Lonely Werewolf Girl and The Good Faeries of New York signed. This sounds like an excellent idea.

  5. Anonymous10:57 pm

    I second the book signing. Perhaps we can all just pop in for a cup of tea. At least then you wouldn't die alone in the inevitable gas explosion.


  6. Anonymous1:55 am

    Should have give the tap a quick short hit. And NEVER turn a hot water tap on fully - always back it off half a turn ....

  7. I like doing signings/readings, but I don't think it will happen till next year, when I'll have a new book out.