Roused into Action

The football season has started. It's time to rouse myself from my stupor, sit upright on the couch, and watch TV. The calendar on my computer, for which I have never previously found any use, is now bulging with fixtures for Arsenal, Arsenal Reserves, and Arsenal youth team. I downloaded these directly into the calendar from the Arsenal website, and felt pleased with myself for managing this successfully.

All these matches are now shown on the Arsenal channel which means I hardly ever have to do anything again except watch football on TV. So this is a big success for the modern world.

The Olympics are on. I'm pleased the British team is doing well, but I can't muster any enthusiasm for watching it.

Feeling adventurous , I bought an apple crumble from Sainsbury, instead of rhubarb, but it was a disappointment. The apples didn't seem to be cooked properly, and lay there in lumpy slices. I knew it was a mistake to change in my diet. Felt gloomy and unsatisfied afterwards. And slightly annoyed at the apples, for not cooking properly.

Fruit generally seems to be a problem. I've already mentioned the treachery of pears, being hard one minute and then rotten the next. I did experiment with a melon recently, but it didn't seem to be ripe enough. I don't know how to tell if a melon is ripe. I think you might be meant to squeeze it, but that's a risky business. I have seen, many times in films and TV, that if you're in a shop and you reach out to check how ripe a melon is, you're practically certain to grab hold of a woman's breast by mistake. It just seems to happen every time. So perhaps it's too dangerous for me to attempt. I wouldn't like to get thrown out the supermarket in disgrace.

Hmmm. I see my blog has not yet started to influence world affairs. Neither the London Times nor the Washington Post quote me on a regular basis. Surely it's only a matter of time.